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A poem of pain and also of healing and hope.

This poem was inspired by "Crystal Thorn" by Creaking-door
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:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012  Student Writer
Ah, I miss Creaking-door, the style of this reminds me greatly of him, though it's also very much infused with your own unique way with words. You combine gentle imagery with passion extremely well.
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:iconnocturnejewel:
NocturneJewel Featured By Owner Feb 27, 2012
Yes, I too very much miss Creaking-door...for a few weeks after his offical departure on January 16, I was still in moderate contact with him through notes because he said he could still read notes...but now he can't so I haven't been in contact with him since February 5. I miss him greatly too, he was my best friend not just on DA but in my real life as well. I really don't have much social contact in real life. Every time I see that someone has sent me a note I keep hoping that it will be from him saying that his health has improved. I have been having a difficult time adjusting to his absence, but I sincerely hope he will get better. I wish him the best in life, with health and healing, love and funny times. I told him in a note that I hoped he would meet a unicorn that would heal him with the magical custard it spurts from its horn.

I'm happy that you liked this poem inspired by one of his. I really liked the rhymes in this but I got some comments from people who thought it would be better if it was written free-verse style. Agnes doesn't think so. What do you think?
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:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012  Student Writer
Yeah, he introduced me to you and sometimes I think he pointed people my way, too, but obviously I can't be sure. It's also his influence that pushed me to become the kind of watcher I am, and to regularly interact with people here until I feel like I know them.

Personally, I like the rhyme because I like traditional forms - they can be quite rare. But it might be interesting to see you write about the same ideas and themes in free verse too, so I wouldn't really object to that =)
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:iconnocturnejewel:
NocturneJewel Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2012
Creaking-door was a rare treasure on DA. He had such a strong committment to the people he watched over, commenting on everything. I want to be that kind of watcher too, and I will to those who will respond with comments on my poems too...I sincerely hope his health improves and maybe we will hear from him again. It's a rare gift to be able to touch the hearts of people you've never met, and that's the kind of gift that Rob gave to me and I'm sure to others. He made me feel special.
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:iconavenvia:
Avenvia Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2012  Student Writer
I'm with you on that, he was indeed a rare person on here who really knew how to make friendships with his watchers.
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:iconmysticbliss11:
mysticbliss11 Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Very powerful and full of visual emotion. Easily one of the best pieces I've seen in a long time.
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:iconnocturnejewel:
NocturneJewel Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012
Thank-you very much for the high praise! I'm happy that it touched you so...
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:iconthesilentmistress:
TheSilentMistress Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012  Student Writer
A beautiful poem.
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:iconnocturnejewel:
NocturneJewel Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012
Thank-you, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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:iconthesilentmistress:
TheSilentMistress Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012  Student Writer
No problem.
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:iconagnes-arelia:
Agnes-Arelia Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
So heartfelt and full of emotion. :heart: I think a lot of us have felt like this at one time or the other, and poets, well, poets are even more sensitive to such things, I believe.
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:iconnocturnejewel:
NocturneJewel Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012
Thank-you Agnes, I agree too that poets are by nature more sensitive, I'm glad you liked this poem. I've got comments from two people who think this poem would be better in free verse-do you think so?
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:iconagnes-arelia:
Agnes-Arelia Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I must say that I never prefer free verse if something can be done in a traditional way, it almost always sounds better to me like that. Thought that is so, I think it depends on the way this poem would look like if turned into free verse - it might be better, it might not, but I believe it is more a matter of personal preference in this case.
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:iconnocturnejewel:
NocturneJewel Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012
Yeah, some are good in free verse, some not. I think I'll leave this poem for now since it's freshly written and maybe in a month I'll try writing it in free verse and see how it goes. But I really do love the rhymes in this poem and would hate to lose them...thanks for your imput.
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:iconagnes-arelia:
Agnes-Arelia Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
If i may just add - rhymes can make or break the poem; very few people have the ability to write in rhymes without making it sound forced. So, I definitely must agree with you on this one, it would be a shame to lose rhymes in this poem. :nod: People are too dismissive of the old ways, including writing traditional poetry, these days.
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:iconnocturnejewel:
NocturneJewel Featured By Owner Feb 4, 2012
Thank-you Agnes. Yes, I agree people are too dismissive these days of the old ways. I think I'll leave it the way it is...it doesn't sound forced to me and it flows nicely...thanks for your imput.
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:iconagnes-arelia:
Agnes-Arelia Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
:) :hug:
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:iconwolfyone:
Wolfyone Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
A survivor's tale. As always, moving and beautiful.
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:iconnocturnejewel:
NocturneJewel Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2012
Thank-you Cyndy
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:iconwolfyone:
Wolfyone Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome
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:icontoyxxsoldier:
ToyxxSoldier Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2012
Very nice.
You create such a vivid image. Though I do agree that this may work more effectively as a free-verse poem, I respect you for writing it in traditional, because in a lot of ways its so much harder, and you did a fantastic job.

:)
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:iconnocturnejewel:
NocturneJewel Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2012
Thank-you for your helpful imput. Yes, I agree some poems were better as free verse and I'll give this some more consideration.
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:iconangelichope:
angelichope Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2012
Just my opinion, but I think this would be a whole lot better if it were free verse instead of traditional; I don't feel this needs to rhyme; would be better if you were free and let your imagination run wild with it!:)
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:iconnocturnejewel:
NocturneJewel Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2012
Thank-you so much for your feedback! I really appreciate it and will definitely give it some thought!
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:iconangelichope:
angelichope Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2012
You're so welcome; I'm glad that you liked my feedback, and that I could help!:)
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:iconkay-march:
Kay-March Featured By Owner Jan 31, 2012
I escaped into my unusual shell and remained there
oblivious to the ravages burning everything around me,
still do not feel safe, there is always something that breaks me, and I break back...
there's always a crack in my armour reaching straightly to my heart

I hope your friend is better
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:iconnocturnejewel:
NocturneJewel Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2012
Thank-you so much Helena for these lovely lines in reply to this here poem. I would love They are beautiful and words that I can definitely relate to...

Yes, I hope my friend gets better too...
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:iconkay-march:
Kay-March Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2012
you always make me feel better with your beautiful words... this is just me doing the same for my friend
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