[x]

Graduation DayGraduation Day:

They told us we would be alright...

We had fought with honour and won our titles.

We had overcome trials together -

Watching dozens of our siblings fall in the line of duty.

For this they had promised us, a wondrous welcome;

A bountiful world of adventure, with a myriad of paths.

All this, they said, awaited us in the stone cities.

Large metropolises, where the working folk resided...

There were hundreds of us, who made that journey.

Walking miles across the scorching desert,

Clinging to a hope of the fortunes beyond.

Yet what awaited us was not a promised land -

Nor was it a life based on the merit we had earned.

You don't just die.Do you understand?
The blade against your wrist
Doesn't just slice your skin.
It cuts through others
Hearts
Souls
And sanity.

Do you understand?
You don't just kill yourself.
You kill everyone.
Everyone dies
Everyone cries
Everyone suffers
From YOUR goodbyes.

Do you understand?
You don't just die.
You take everyone down
With you.

I wish...I wish I was a monster
So I could be kind
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I was colored
So I could respect people
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I was a man
So I could be kind to women
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I had male friends
So we could all be..
Just friends
And break the stereotypes.

I wish I had autism
So I could prove that autism,
Does NOT mean "dumb".
And I could break the stereotypes.

I wish I could change the world.
But sometimes, you can't break a stereotype.

Only stereotypes, can break you.

Lingerhow can i move forward,
when the fingerprints of my insecurities
are still lingering within my chest,
pressing against my ribs like piano keys?
i am just waiting, for the day,
when the saddest parts of me
are overcome with songs of serenity.

Pretty Blue PillsPretty blue pills,
shiny in my palm,
the ticket to my peace,
to my eternal calm.

They're so perfectly round,
and soon they'll be in me.
The closest to perfect
that I'll ever be.

They go down so smooth.
Five, ten, fifteen and twenty.
Soon I'll be gone.
Twenty-five and Thirty.

That should be enough,
but I'll play it safe.
Thirty-five and forty.
Now I have no more to take.

The bottle is empty,
as empty as I feel.
None of this is happening,
too good to be real.

But soon I start to drift
into a dark unknown fog.
Somewhere quite distantly.
I hear a muffled sob.

But I blow it off as fake.
Nobody could possibly care.
I doubt anyone's noticed
th

PhantomWhen life
or fate
or whatever it is
that puts things together
and takes them apart...
when It
amputated you,
it left me
with a phantom
limb
and you are still attached
to my body
when I dance
and make love
alone

ten ways this breakup isn't meant for the movies1.
you go out for twelve eggs and come back
with half a dozen and a new girlfriend.
you hold the eggs out to me like
six dead birds is enough of a peace offering.

2.
i push the eggs out of your hand and stay
with my hand over your heart as i watch them
fall. if they do not hit the ground, this is all a dream.

3.
the eggs smash on the tile and splatter
on the cherry wood cabinets, newly installed
that cost me two paychecks.

3.
the egg whites hit your leather shoes that
you’ve worn for two months straight
because you think they make you look more sophisticated.

3.
the egg whites hit the fridge halfway up, barely touching
the moose mag

Dear friend,You have to understand, dear
The reason to why I run.
I run away from reality
From the lungs that cannot
Take anymore smoke
From the heart that threatens to
Stop...
I run away because
I'm a coward
Because I'm afraid of life
Afraid to care or love.
I'm afraid that every time
I'm glad it blows up in my face
And that every time I smile
I shed a million more tears.
That's why I run, dear
You have to understand.
I was destined to be a fighter but
I don't want to fight anymore.
I was destined to be a warrior
But how am I supposed to win when
The war I fight is against life itself?
I know that I always blow everything up but-
I keep stepping on mines, dear...
...I keep stepping on mines...

ellipsisshe goes to sleep
clawing at her chest with pinpoint accuracy
for an emptiness she can’t describe,
but hates all the same. tomorrow

she will write a letter: “dear boy,
i always wanted to be somebody’s
flowery poem, but the verses carved in my arms
are riddled with ugly clichés. & you are why

i don’t sleep through the night. if
we were a language, i was the
subordinating conjunction, you were

the punctuation.

i remember you in staccato
conclusions, solemn absences
of goodbye”

They Called Her UglyThey called her ugly
and she screamed that she was beautiful
because that is what she believed
and They screamed twice as loud
and They left a small scar on her arm that was
big and red and bright
for all to see.

They called her ugly
and she yelled that she was beautiful
because that is what she thought she was
and They yelled three times as loud
and They left a bigger scar on her other arm that was
big and red and bright
for all to see.

They called her ugly
and she said that she was beautiful
because that is what she hoped
and They just said it louder
and They left a scar on face that was
big and red and bright
for all to see.

They call

TearsI am not afraid to cry.

I am not afraid for you to see the tears

My tears.

Don’t tell me I have no heart.

Don’t tell me I have no soul.

For without them I could not cry.

You may not see my tears but they are there.

I have learned to let myself cry for the things I’ve loved,

For the things I’ve lost.

They are silent tears, but they are mine.

So let me cry.

Let me show you I have a heart.

Let the things that touch my heart be shown through my tears.

I am not afraid to cry.

brain squealsI beat depressions in the earth
for my brain squeals and waves
that burst in my wet ears
until something makes me drown.
I will. (again) V.

Virginia,

put rocks in pockets
and walk right in --
I'll drink your overcoat
until your throat weeps
and your soaked hair
weighs you down.

I promise.

with love,
Ouse.

P.S.
brain squeals are from cold sweats
sleep well.

I am notI’m not your little boy.
You’re not my little girl.
I’m just someone you met,
And wants to change the world
I’m not the prince in your dreams
I don’t have smarts or might
I’m just the one that screams
And cries to sleep at night
I’m not who you want me to be.
I will never be what you are.
I’m myself, I am free.
I’m not ashamed of my scars
I’m not that weak
You’re not that strong
You still have company
But I’m still alone
So I speak
Though this poem.
It’s not a pretty love song
I’m just saying what pains me, explaining what’s going on.
Because I am not perfect,
I’m not retarded,
I’m just like you,
Broken Hearted
Never forget,
There is always a reason to be
And I won’t regret
I’m always happy to be me.

combatantI.
it strikes me
that this woman
could be a palace.

I marvel at
the opulent dome of
her brow, her arch
expression—

skin like a courtyard of
ivory tiles,
a thousand intersecting
golden lines about her
head and neck.

she beams from atop her
sunlit tower,
beatific and beautiful,

spreads her arms like
open doors,
invites you to be one of

the many
who have wandered her
lavish halls.

II.
I’ve often thought
of myself
as a castle:

all rough-hewn stone
and turrets,
a temper like molten
tar.

my head is crowned
with
embattled parapets,

weapons readied
at the crenels.

I look out from my
guerites, my brattices,
eyes like arrow-slits

Second ShadowThe hand on your shoulder
The whispers in your mind
The words on your tongue
The voice in your throat
And the feelings in your soul

To drive to madness
To seduce the insane
To draw the blood
And dull the senses
To plague the memories
Of damage done
To fake safe haven
As the character changes

Light the anger and fuel the rage
Another mind to feed
A second shadow
To take you into eternity

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CALL OF THE MERMAIDTwilight defuses my mind with color, carving me
open until my seadrift veins split apart like
the clouds vanilla and lavender, out leaks a sweet
peppery memory of when I laid on the beach and
glimpsed a village in the surf, around my neck
I wore a chain of Stars, they kept my Imagination
warm as I remembered basking on a pearly-shelled
beach, seaspray aquamarine glistened in my sunkissed
tresses, the minutes were sand trickling through
the hourglass of Days, and my Days were a shimmering
shell that I held to my conch ear and listened
to the call of the Mermaid, pure as can be.

She came to me, laughter tickling open the oyster
she

THE SILENT SWANThe Sea's blue breathing womb gave birth
to all creatures, giving life to Silence,
speech to the Unconscious, sight to the
Blind, but something extraordinary also
emerged from out of the Sea's native waters
-a swan emerged, she was the most exquisite
and glorious bird that the Waters of Life
had ever birthed, her Beauty shone like
supple silver, so pure that it stole the
speech and sight of all worldly creatures
who gazed upon her singular greatness,
but this swan was born a mute, as mute
as unwritten paper, she had no halcyon
voice, she had no living note to sing.

She lived with her heart speaking from her
eyes-in her gracefu

TO AUTUMN, WEARIED OF HIS TAILAutumn, Autumn, my little boy gecko
blazing brighter than the Twilight Sun,
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maple sugar you can be, on a day as
subtle as the retreat of Winter's shade
you must have been in a restless mood,
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for when I attempted to remove you from
your rustic home so I may complete my
cleansing duties you put on a show of
such freaky woe I had never seen before!

Autumn, Autumn, wearied of your tail
you must have been for my maternal care
failed to calm the panic fluttering in
your little breast-until finally you
dropped your sl

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Submitted: January 12, 2012
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MY SNOW ANGEL

by ~NocturneJewel, Jan 12, 2012, 7:23:21 AM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

By the soft murmurings of candlelight
I remember how you came to be my baby:
you came to me in the whiteness of the
snow, glistening like the last hour of
Eternity, melting like the first kiss of
Innocence... falling, slowly falling into
the admiring Twilight of I, the Sky was
full of angels who blessed that magical
Night for I felt the magic of each snow-
flake bejeweling me in their white purity,
leaving behind a gift of powdery softness,
their spirit so fresh and wholesome
fell into me, into my heart just like
you did, my Ambrosia Sugarberry.

My Snow Angel, purely you came to me
in the magic of the snow, a gift of love
you were to my heart, so gentle, so
sweet, your intimate slithers I came to
know so well, in the passage of years
we grew together in love-until that
fateful day when your little body could
no longer hold the angelic sincerity
of your energy, your spirit had to part
from this world's mortal fair-and with
the cashmere comfort of the falling snow
did your spirit depart-but not from my
heart-never from my heart and home-here
your spirit will always remain-I feel
you around me still...my beloved Ambrosia
Sugarberry, I will always remember how
you came to me in the purity of the snow
and left in the same magical way, my
precious one, your spirit I will always
feel in the bright cleansing fall of
Winter, full of renewal and rebirth,
it is then I am surrounded by the love
of your sweet spirit, my precious girl,
you will always be my Snow Angel.

January 20, 2008
© Jewel MoonSilver Knight - All rights reserved.

MY SNOW ANGELby ~NocturneJewel

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

This is a poem written from the love of a broken heart. I wrote this shortly after Ambrosia, my Candy Cane Corn Snake died. She came to me by air mail from Alberta in 2003 and I remember the night when I got her it was snowing...and when she died in 2008 it was snowing, and at her funeral it was snowing. So I always think of my sweet Ambrosia when it snows.

Ambrosia Sugarberry
December 17 2003 to January 14 2008
My Snow Angel

love 9 9

joy 1 1

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

~~sad 0 0~~

~~fear 0 0~~

neutral 1 1

~mysticbliss11 Feb 3, 2012 Hobbyist Writer

Beautiful written and sorrowfully received.

~NocturneJewel Feb 3, 2012

Thank-you so much. It was written straight from my hurting heart. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

~007Balel Jan 25, 2012 Student Writer

A really beautiful tribute!
She is a real snow angel, amazing work

~NocturneJewel Jan 25, 2012

Thank-you so much for that! Yes, I always feel Ambrosia's sweet spirit with me when it snows...she's probably with me at other times too, but the feeling is strongest on snowy days.

~007Balel Jan 25, 2012 Student Writer

Snow is connected to her death, so you will feel her stronger at those times. Thats just a sign that she is still here!

~NocturneJewel Jan 25, 2012

Thank-you for that! I know she's still here...my sweet anow angel. That's one of the reasons I love the snow so much.

~007Balel Jan 25, 2012 Student Writer

You're welcome

and it is understandable.

*Wolfyone Jan 14, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

A lovely tribute to a cherished friend.

~NocturneJewel Jan 14, 2012

Thank-you!

*Wolfyone Jan 14, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

You're welcome!

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